Adoption is a decision that many people do not make lightly. If you are a pregnant woman considering all your options (parenting, adoption or abortion) it may be likely that you are unsure of the reasons why people choose to adopt or perhaps you are unsure if adoption is a good option for your baby over parenting and abortion. There are many benefits to adoption (You can find out the benefits on our blog post: The Joy of Adoption

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We encourage you to find out as much as you can about the process before making the final decision as this is such a life-changing choice for you and your baby.

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If you are single and the father of your child has shared his views on having the baby adopted, he may  decide to seek some advice from a social worker (depending on the circumstances) if for any reason you are against this, then we would advise you to discuss this with your social worker or adoption agency as they will be able to provide you with advice on this. 

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To help you find out more about the process of adoption, we have shared some useful information below:

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To get started, you can contact your local authority's children's services or social work department, or a voluntary adoption agency. If you do not have a social worker of your own, the hospital where you have your ante-natal appointments may have a social worker who can also advise you - Your local Citizens Advice Bureau can also advise you on who to contact in your area.

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Also check out First for Adoption  this is a website that can help you locate adoption agencies in the UK. 

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You can begin the adoption process before your child is born, but no permanent arrangements will be made until after you have given birth. Until then, you will be completely free to change your mind. However once an adoption order has been put in place (which is usually when your child has been with their new adopted family for a minimum of ten weeks) it cannot be changed - For more information click here.

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Contact refers to any kind of contact between an adoptee and their birth family. It may be direct (face-to-face or over the telephone) or indirect (via letter) and may involve the child’s birth parents, siblings or relations from the wider family – such as aunts and uncles or grandparents.

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It can also be used to refer to contact between a child and their former foster carers. Some local authorities may choose to refer to it as 'family time'.

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At the moment there is no legal requirement for adoptive families to maintain contact of any kind with their child’s birth family after the adoption order has gone through. However, contact arrangements will be discussed prior to the child’s adoption and a voluntary agreement between the two families will normally be arranged. Sometimes the details of the contact arrangements may be included in the court order.

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The extent and form of contact will be determined by what is deemed to be in the best interests of the child. If anyone involved wishes to change the terms of the contact agreement, they can ask for it to be reviewed. 

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Adoption UK’s research shows that the majority of adoptive families do have contact arrangements in place with birth relatives. Research revealed that 84% of adoptive families had signed an agreement for ongoing indirect contact (such as letters, photos etc), and a further quarter were having direct contact with birth family members (in most cases, siblings).

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Letterbox contact is where the adoptive and birth family exchange a letter or card and photographs every year. This correspondence is monitored by a third party – normally the adoption agency or local authority – who can make sure that no contact details are revealed, and any inappropriate content is removed.

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Adoptive families will normally send details of the child’s achievements and milestones, physical health and progress at school, while birth relatives will tend to write about events in their lives. This is an adult-to-adult correspondence – adopters have the right to decline a letter they feel is inappropriate and they can choose whether or not to reply or share it with their child.

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Adoptees will often have direct contact with siblings who have been adopted to other families – this is the recommendation made by the Department for Education in situations where the children cannot be placed together. In some cases, the child may also have face-to-face contact with a grandparent or other birth relative who is supportive of the adoption, or a former foster carer.

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Because there is no legal requirement in place, it is up to both families to decide whether or not to participate. Some adoptees will have no contact with birth family at all. This may be because one of the families has decided it is too distressing, or it may be that safeguarding concerns mean it is not in the best interests of the child to have any contact at all. 

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When your child reaches 18 years old (16 in Scotland) they have the option of seeing their birth certificate, which will show your name. With this information and more details from the adoption agency they can, if they wish, try to find you and other members of their birth family: this is called "tracing". You can have the option of letting your child know through an intermediary that you would welcome this.

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We understand there is a lot to consider, this is why we advise you to get professional advice before making a decision